I stared at my laptop, wondering what in the world to write.
My little boy, with his deep blue eyes sat on the floor next to me, reading this book about a dysfunctional family and their relationships together. I bought it for him myself; I like to be non-conformist with parenting.
He was only 7 years old, but he was quite astute for that age. Like all children he had this pure curiosity to know everything around him. Those big blue eyes sucked up all that it had seen and kept it to his memory. Because I do not wish to fail him, I would learn new things for him so he can always run to me.
My son is unlike myself, at least in this time. As the years passed I have become quite a demon. I tend to be bitter, cynical and full of held up anger I may as well be a walking time bomb.
But not this boy...who amazingly from such a creature as myself was able to bear a child this pure and wonderful. I suppose, because of him I have become less of a wreck.
"Mother..." he placed his book down and looked at me.
"Yes dearest?"
"I love you." He gave his most sincere smile.
I looked down at him. I wanted to laugh a little. How does this boy know what love is? He has not been with the people I've been, or suffered what many lovers had been through.
Instead, I just give him a small smile. "I love you too sweetie."
And I knew, even after all my heartbreaks and my lack of faith with love, I had meant that statement to him.
That night I carried him and tucked him to bed. I held his hand as he slept.
I had turned off the light this time. We usually keep the light on because he's afraid of the dark, but I needed to save on electricity.
He held my hand tight. "Mommy...I'm scared."
I sat next to him on the edge of the bed. "I'm right here. I'll always be here for you."
As he started to ease up and fall into his world of dreams, I made a unspoken promise that I would protect this little boy I had loved so much.
He was the only light in my heart, and all I had left.
~*~
That didn't come out as well as I had intended it to be.Oh well
